Passion tablets

If you’re tired and can’t sleep, there are sleeping pills.

If you’re gay and want boobs, there’s estrogen.

If you’re horny and want to last longer, there’s Viagra.

There’s something for everything, but if you’re feeling lifeless, what do you take?

I’m not pretending to be emo or anything, I’ve just been feeling dull for the longest time.

I need to be passionate about something. Anything.

Vague

Vague-ity. Vague-istic. Vague-atious. I hate how words that end in -ness end up sounding cutesy  so vagueness just won’t work for me tonight.

I hate how I am too excited about new things that it totally blinds me and I end up regretting things that I once considered the biggest and most important thing in my life. I just sat there pretending I was interested and giving stupid half-smiles and ended up pretending to be busy. I hate it.

I hope I wake up tomorror in a good mood.

New Thing.

Mental FUCKING Torture.

 

But uh, all will be perfect soon enough.

I promise.

I promise I am not going to do any politicking anymore. I promise to be honest from now on. I swear on my soul I am not doing this again. It’s been bothering me for days now and I think I am SO CLOSE to getting caught. I don’t want to burn, I don’t want to prove that Alighieri was right. No. No. I could remember breathing with ease without secrets like this.

Morgan bless my soul.

Thirsty but can’t drink anymore.

I’m one-eighth drunk (which means I just had a LITTLE drink, I just wanted it to sound a tad more scandalous) and I am so thirsty! My throat is a bottomless pit, but my stomach is already nearing the point of explosion.

I had fun tonight. It was supposed to be Carlo’s birthday bash but when we were already at the bar he begged us not to tell the band that it was his celebration. We pointed Jocae instead and he became the target of the bashing and dirty jokes. Jocae ordered a blow job and it was a teensy (shot glass) serving of something strong plus Baileys (I think because it smelled nice), and it was supposed to be served ON FIRE but he was a bit scared, so there. I don’t really drink so I just had a light drink, which explains the pretending-to-be-drunk-to-sound-scandalous.

We were supposed to go to Jocae’s favorite bar in Malate but I am too indulged in my pretension so I am just going to say that I am too drunk to remember why it didn’t happen.

Cute or Scary?

I loved the eyebrow ending!

Things I learned this semester.

Having gotten through my very first college semester without tears, I think a blog post must follow. This past semester I have learned quite a handful of things I once thought I’d never do or be interested in. Here’s the list of the most useless things I have learned in UP.

1. It’s fun to be free to skip classes whenever you want. I’ve missed a meeting or more in each of my classes except for HUM1 and the only reason I didn’t miss a meeting is because I liked seeing  JB.

2. I’ve learned to vandalize on armchairs. I used to loathe people who did such unethical things but now I am one of them. I wrote the silliest things like:

“**** ang hot mo!”

“Push the button to eject *u**y”

“Red Hot Chili Peppers”

“Social climber ang katabi ko –>”

“Kadiri ang CR sa NCAS.”

3. I’ve tried smoking.

4. I’ve tried going back to the apartment past 3am.

5. I’ve ****** * ***. Again. And again. And loved it.

6. I’ve tried starving myself in my desperation to lose weight. I would go to school at 7am without breakfast and just kill my hunger with Maxx menthol candies, eat lunch at around 1pm, and eat Maxx if I get hungry again. Last week, I’ve lived with 6pcs of Maxx, a bowl of oatmeal, and 2liters of water daily. Didn’t seem to work, though. So I don’t suggest you try it.

7.

8. UP isn’t as scary as I imagined it to be. I never exerted any extra effor on my academics. Never had, and I think, never will. I just don’t give too much shit about grades. Unlike. If the kind of grades I earned in high school were enough to get me in UP, then I guess I (bleep bleep bleep before I say anything I might regret someday).

Ansarap

talagang pitikin ng mga langgam na gumagapang sa braso mo, at lalong mas masarap kung tumalsik sila nang malakas sa pader tapos pagbagsak sa sahig eh hindi na sila makagalaw. Tapos aapakan mo hanggang maging parte na siya ng mga alikabok sa sahig at hindi na malalaman ninuman na langgam pala dati yung duming yun.

Hindi ako sadista.

I don’t think you’ll still find it funny.

The worst thing is that tonight I did it again and I am bound to repeat it because I like doing it.

That has got to be the most disturbing redundant (or grammatically wrong) sentence ever.

It may not be a big deal for other people, but for me and my friends, it is. There’s this one person I love dearly and I could just imagine his disappointment when he learns about this. I need damage control.

When Teenagers Invade Kiddie Heaven

Yesterday, my friends and I celebrated Riener and Prince’s birthdays. Since I lost my wallet, the promised cake was nil. We ended up at McDonald’s-Times, just like the old times. We did the barkada-fries thing, where we wasted the large fries boxes as we poured everything on the tray. Then we talked and laughed, laughed, and laughed some more until we couldn’t think of anyone to make fun of anymore, and we got bored. We decided to go to SM just for the sake of having something to do.

We went inside Toy Kingdom. We first saw the Speed Stacks display and testing area where some kids were showing off and pretending to know how to play, when in fact they were just stacking the cups on top of each other without minding the pattern. For fun, one of my friends imitated the reaction of the child on this video:

(Listen to 0:13 onwards)

My friend sounded like he was moaning and some parents began to give us The Glare.

We went to the musical instruments area and we found some toy guitars. We called them Guitar Heroes. We found some pianos and my friend played the intro of Coldplay’s Viva La Vida. It was funny considering it was a toy piano and it was built to play songs such as Mary Had A Little Lamb and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars. I didn’t know how to play the piano and I needed someone to point where the Do key was before I could play The Sound of Music’s So-Do-La-Fa-Mi-Do-Re like an idiot.

In the middle of Toy Kindom was the arts area and there were giant crayons and paintbrushes. We pretended to be in the Art Attack studio and started mimicking Neil Buchanan. We were making so much noise screaming “Tara!” (Pronounced “churar”, for the non-British it sounds like “turrah”), “Big Art Attack!”, and “PVC Glue!” It used to be my favorite show.

In the remote-controlled toys section, I found a very ugly toy where a very muscular doll was on a skateboard. Imagine blonde Barbie with arms and legs like a man on a skateboard like Tony Hawk. I concluded that little girls who grew up to be tomboys played with those kinds of hideous toys. We then took turns mentioning the names of all the tomboys we knew. Aiza Seguerra, our PE teachers, old classmates.

After that, we went to the weapons section. We played with some daggers and shields, nothing extremely fun, until one of my friends found a sword that looked like a dildo. It was a styrofoam sword with lights inside. Good thing it did not have a vibrate feature, because I would definitely think that the store also sold sex toys. Toy Kingdom, indeed! My friends picked up more dildo swords and started poking each other, saying they were having a dildo fight. I was on the side, laughing hysterically.

Lastly, we came across baskets of old toys, where you could find junk, garbage, and recyclables held for 50% off. Like children would beg their parents for rejects.

Ma, ibili mo na ako nung sirang raketa ng badminton, sige na!

Mama, ako din, yung putol na jumping rope! Saka yung stuffed toy na kulang ng mata!