Wam, use your head!

I hate that I am really, really, (as in really, really talaga) bad at making important life decisions. I am so bad at it that one day I might say yes to the first guy who asks me to marry him, then end it a few weeks before the wedding because it didn’t feel right anymore, or worse, it never did at all, I just didn’t think about it enough and just, like I always do, went with the flow. I’m done with waves. (Ayan na ata ang longest poorly constructed sentence in the history of poorly-constructed statements. Sorry, hindi kasi ako nakapag-DevCom.)

Wow, may plot na ang love story ko. Haha.

I just want to be wise when it comes to major things. You know, like Kuya Borj-wise. He rarely speaks, but every time he does, he never fails to amaze me, and I always end up feeling so stupid cos he’s just so (insert expletive)-ly wise.

In short, excited na ako to go clubbing with friends sa birthday ni Cams…

…while I am failing Stat1. Here I go again. Ano ba, Chassagne. Di ka pa ba sawa sa pagiging sucky in Math?

Boy fucking crazy.

I am happy now. I love my dorm, I love my roommates, I honestly enjoy my classes (though I find Chemistry15 and Statistics1 very hard), and I love being involved in an organization. I made a lot of changes this year, and now I’m just plain happy.

Well, that’s at least until Barbs and I start talking and ranting about why we don’t have boyfriends, how unfair it is that ugly girls have one but we don’t, and how things always start with a guy and it’s just that. It just starts, and it gets all kilig, and poof, it’s Koko Krunch. It’s sad to think that my last relationship was asdjklf4873e4632789rydjsk. God. I need a guy. I’m gathering dust here! Spiders are making freaking cobwebs around me! God!

I often talk to a friend about this (Armani), and he says that it’s because I make it seem like I have impossible standards, and it is kind of intimidating. Someone finds me intimidating?! Wow, even I would be intimidated by myself because apparently, I am intimidating. Gosh, I didn’t realize that. I always thought it’s because I’m fat. :| Well, anyways… Armani started to teach me the “boy-luring” techniques. He told me to start posting pictures of myself doing the infamous “Friendster pose” (He says “Magpaka-baduy ka nga kahit minsan. Masyado kang anti-baduy eh.” and I was like “Ew, fuck no!”) And that’s when I realized… I do have impossible standards. I am very judgemental. Gosh, my penthouse in hell awaits my arrival. I don’t get it. Hindi naman ako mahilig sa sobrang gwapo. Gusto ko HOT. Barbs and I agreed on our qualifications. He has to be tall and malaman (in short, YUMMY). And must wear nice shoes. And nice shirts, and perfectly-sized pants. And, I think most girls would agree, wears boxers or boxer briefs. Dapat din suplado, yung hindi masyadong nagsasalita around other people, but secretly bubbly. Maraming alam na bagay, hindi lang acads o dota o anime. One big turn off na napag-usapan din pala namin is yung vain guys. Ew My God. EMG. No, please, no. Bakla much? Mas hot talaga yung effortless, yung tipong he just happened to wear the first thing he grabbed from his drawer and still ended up drool-worthy. O tama na, nag-advertise na ako dito, kasama pa ang underwear preference.

Yun lang. Gusto lang kasi ni Barbs magkaroon ng ComArtsSoc shirts na pang mag-shota.

Yung pang-female, sabi “I’M HARD TO GET”

Yung pang-male naman, “BUT I GOT HER”

Tapos maglalakad kayo sa labas, suot niyong dalawa yan.

Tanginang kabaduyan yan.

But what’s sad is sometimes BADUY feels so much better than nothing at all. :|

Tangina pengeng boylet.

Vague

Vague-ity. Vague-istic. Vague-atious. I hate how words that end in -ness end up sounding cutesy  so vagueness just won’t work for me tonight.

I hate how I am too excited about new things that it totally blinds me and I end up regretting things that I once considered the biggest and most important thing in my life. I just sat there pretending I was interested and giving stupid half-smiles and ended up pretending to be busy. I hate it.

I hope I wake up tomorror in a good mood.

Happy New Year (annoyed)

I still can’t get over Celito’s weight loss. Damyu, Celito.

Before

After

Chassagne, on the other hand…

The Chassagne Cycle

The adipose-storing never ends. (annoyed)

As they say, the person who never learns – or even TRY to lean – Photoshop never loses weight… Paint is so user-friendly…

How do you start something you don’t feel doing? I don’t really feel like updating since there’s nothing much to say but I’m afraid my blog will rot soon, hence the spontaneous blogging.

I’ve been really busy with Plurk because it’s so fun and now it’s so hard to say something without the strong urge to attach an emoticon. Writing something like this now seems dull. Go join Plurk and you’ll see what I mean.

Hmm, I don’t really have anything to write about so I’ll just say whatever comes to my mind. I don’t consider myself a blogger so this wouldn’t be considered crappy blogging.

I went to UST last week with my Tomasian friends and it was really fun. It was the first time I’ve seen some of them since… Oh my, since starting college. We were supposed to go partyying after until some suggested we just go have coffee (insert annoyed emoticon). We ended up in McDonalds having coffee at McCafe. We went home at around 2am and some went home at around six. It was during the Paskuhan that I realized that life is truly unfair. Like srsly unfair.

Celito lost like 1/3 his previous weight. Ambalibabol.

Ugh. That’s all I wanted to say. I so want to be Bulimic and Anorexic right now, no offense meant to others.

For people who find farting a delightful experience.

A couple of weeks ago in a class, we were asked to introduce ourselves. I said the usual things, and I got the usual reaction I expect from people after hearing my name for the first time. We were also asked about our hobbies and so I said mine. I just got so annoyed after hearing so many: “I love sleeping and eating (plus a goofy smile).” In a school like this you expect to hear something like: “I read, and after reading I read some more, and if I still have time, I read.” Sometimes I feel bad for always thinking that I am not smart enough to be here. But moments like that make me think that I am, hands down, the brightest in the class.

A hobby is something you enjoy doing often, something like painting, paper-folding, or maybe even watching porn or something. But sleeping and eating are biological necessities, just like farting. Get the point? I cannot stand it when people consider it as a hobby just to have something to say. And it’s not like you get some sort of emotional orgasm after eating or sleeping. God, sometimes people are just stupid.

Another topic.

I have a new thing. And I am really happy about it. I hope it goes well, and if it really does, I might not even consider Diliman anymore. I love hearing “Sha-san!” in a magical “Tenen!” tone.

I can find a good use for the word FUCK.

Okay, so I’m here in some computer shop in Tambo, Paranaque. I seriously don’t know why I can’t get internet reception something something at my mom’s house. Today is the scheduled day to finalize matters under UPLB Systemone. I don’t fully understand how that works, basta all I know is that if I dont work on it now, I might lose some of the FIFTEEN units I managed to get. So I decided to take a quick shower and check my Systemone account in the first internet shop that crosses my path.

I entered the gates of hell. This is by far the filthiest computer shop I have ever been to. It’s so fucking smelly here. (Well this is Tambo, whaddya expect?) The smell of unwashed dogs and dried dog pee is just too much. But the internet connection at my mother’s house is down and I haven’t gotten my required dose of internet for two days so here I am. It’s so fucking smelly I seriously have to control my breathing to one-minute intervals in order not to suffocate to death. I am surrounded by unbathed boys who seemed so glued to their games that they look like they haven’t showered for days. I am suffering as I type and this nasal torture is enough to overwhelm my grief caused by…

FAILING MATH.

Can you NOT believe it? I failed math. I know, I can’t NOT believe it either. I kind of expected it in a way but I am still shocked by it. I know I don’t study and all, but I have never failed anything I never exerted effort on. I had fifteen units under Systemone and as I was about to secure my slots I noticed there were only twelve left. My next Math got cancelled and I could only think of one reason why. I now I have to repeat college algebra. So fucking believable, right?  Wow, shocker. I am going to fall behind. I am underloaded and I still have to repeat a subject. I don’t understand why Systemone only gave me FIFTEEN fucking units to begin with when everyone I know has twenty. I didn’t even get a slot in Human Ecology 2 when I am fucking taking  Human Ecology. UP for me is so great in a way that I don’t even feel that I am in a public school. We don’t lack classrooms and teachers and we aren’t deprived of proper education but I have come to realize that even UP isn’t perfect. They can’t give you all the subjects you need. I don’t even think I can do the prerog thing they do because my schedule is too weird. Nothing will fit in between subjects. This is just great.

I could think of one solution: STI College, the college that deserves students who fail College fucking Algebra.

STI, here I come. Bwahaha!

I don’t even know what STI stands for.

Looking forward to being an Old Freshman.

I have never (not once in my academic life) looked forward to the end of my semestral break. Not ever. Not until this year, that is. This has been the most fruitless semestral break ever. I have made a mental list (because I never write anything down, and in the few times I actually decide to write things down I either lose the list or just disregard it) of the things I wanted/should/felt like I could accomlish this semesteral break and I think not even one of them was done.

MENTAL (now written) LIST OF PROPOSED SEMBREAK ACTIVITIES:

1. Read intellectual books.

And by intellectual I mean books that need deeper comprehension. Not the kinds of books I read in high school. I should have gotten over Nicholas Sparks by now. But you know what I did? I read another Sparks book this vacation. And to add to my high-schoolishness I even read New Moon.  I tried to read something that actually required a brain, I started reading Lee Iacocca’s autobiography and it only took me 60 pages before I got tired of it. Madali DAW kasi ako magsawa, pati nga tao pinagsasawaan ko DAW eh. But I never really finish a book straight. I get tired of it and I move on to another one. Then get back to it when I’m tired of the other. I currently have four unfinished books: Memoirs of a Geisha, Irish Myths and Legends, Iacocca: An Autobiography, and the final pages of New Moon. I promise I will read all the John Grisham books lying around at home on my next vacation.

2. Spend some college time with friends.

Since we’re freshmen we’re still ecstatic about the fact that we’re in college and all and we really planned to do something special on our sembreak. We talked about going overnight to some place and just do what college kids do. But heck, my friends are starting school next week and we haven’t even seen each other yet.

3. Buy new clothes.

But I don’t really have money for all that clothes. So I guess a couple of new tops is all I’m getting before school starts again. But I actually prefer not having uniforms.

4. Take care of my dad.

He just had an operation four days ago and he can now walk and all, but he’s still in a great deal of pain. Instead of being at home and assisting him I am here at my mom’s doing nothing but thinking about what movie to watch next.

5. Watch movies illegally.

Haha, well I don’t really have the movie library of my dreams so the internet is the best thing I’ve got right now.

6. Practice cooking

Well I’ve been doing a lot of that lately but all I made was either very salty or extremely salty.

THE LIST OF WHAT I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THIS VACATION:

1. Watching TV while waiting for my movie to load (internet)

2. Reading only 40 pages of a book per day. Now talk about lack of focus (or maybe interest?!)

3. Watching shitty videos on youtube

4. Fighting with my brother

5. House-sitting for my mother while she’s in Cebu.

6. Went out ONCE. Pafefic.

7. Filling my brains with Hollywood Celebrity bullshit.

8. Worrying about my lack of units for the next semester.

Next semester I am going to be an Old Freshman. Seriously. There’s such a thing in UP.

Because there are no malls in Laguna

I’ve been thinking about transferring to UP-Diliman next year so that I could take up Business. I’ve actually made a mental pro-con list and I’ve noticed that my list concentrates on partying and having fun and not on my academic future.

PRO

1. I could finally live in a more civilized area.

2. I would be in QC all the time.

3. I could have city-people friends and who like the same things I do, therefore I wouldn’t have to feel guilty of pretending to find the LAMEST jokes funny and I wouldn’t have to exert all of my efforts in pretending to be demure and trying so hard not to cuss.

4. I could be with old friends whenever I want to.

5. Diliman sounds better than Los Baños.

6. I could go partying. Yey for me!

7. I could take a course without thinking: Where on earth would this take me?

8. I could live at home…

9. …or I could also live in QC which would be way cooler than living in Los Baños

10. I could wear sunglasses without looking like a city-bitch.

CON

1. I love UP-Los Baños.

2. If I transfer to Diliman, I would have to start all over again. I stress ALL OVER AGAIN. All over again. Over again. AGAIN. Again.

3. I’ve already made friends in Los Baños and I would have to start with only Saleem in Diliman.

4. Academics-wise, Diliman is harder, I think.

So there. My ratio of pros to cons is 10:4 which means that I should really consider transferring. I probably will IF the grades I made in Los Baños will not be laughed at in Diliman.

Kiedis in Manila

Rihanna and Chris Brown’s upcoming concert has got me  thinking about what a perfect night would be like. I’ve got an idea: Me screaming at the top of my lungs at the band on stage. Red Hot Chili Peppers. I would seriously give anything to go to their concert. A girl can dream, right?

Anyways, my friends and I have been talking about getting tickets for Rihanna’s concert on November 16. The tickets are fairly priced and it would be perfectly in sync with Jocae’s birthday treat. I was all in, in fact I initiated it and I could just see the four of us having so much fun. That’s until reality bit my in the face, anyway. School would’ve just started by that time and I would be in Los Banos. There’s no chance in hell I could go see Rihanna, unless I want to skip school. Well, a girl can only dream, right?

I’ve missed so many ideally awesome concerts like Vertical Horizon, Maroon 5, Ne-Yo, and I am adding Rihanna and Chris Brown to that list. I swear to God if the Red Hot Chili Peppers come here I am not going to miss it. I think I would even give up school entirely for them. Hahaha.