Wam, use your head!

I hate that I am really, really, (as in really, really talaga) bad at making important life decisions. I am so bad at it that one day I might say yes to the first guy who asks me to marry him, then end it a few weeks before the wedding because it didn’t feel right anymore, or worse, it never did at all, I just didn’t think about it enough and just, like I always do, went with the flow. I’m done with waves. (Ayan na ata ang longest poorly constructed sentence in the history of poorly-constructed statements. Sorry, hindi kasi ako nakapag-DevCom.)

Wow, may plot na ang love story ko. Haha.

I just want to be wise when it comes to major things. You know, like Kuya Borj-wise. He rarely speaks, but every time he does, he never fails to amaze me, and I always end up feeling so stupid cos he’s just so (insert expletive)-ly wise.

In short, excited na ako to go clubbing with friends sa birthday ni Cams…

…while I am failing Stat1. Here I go again. Ano ba, Chassagne. Di ka pa ba sawa sa pagiging sucky in Math?

Passion tablets

If you’re tired and can’t sleep, there are sleeping pills.

If you’re gay and want boobs, there’s estrogen.

If you’re horny and want to last longer, there’s Viagra.

There’s something for everything, but if you’re feeling lifeless, what do you take?

I’m not pretending to be emo or anything, I’ve just been feeling dull for the longest time.

I need to be passionate about something. Anything.

Shet.

Nininirvana ako. Now I get why everyone’s crazy about Slumdog Millionaire.

Nirvana, shet shet shet.

The ending was just…

Shet tangina.

Ang hot nung hinalikan niya muna yung scar.

Favorite scene: the poop jump

Not a Christmas wishlist

Just a plain wishlist I prepared for the day I wake up and suddenly the world is right, the odds are all good on me, and I can get everything I want.

1. My own house. I don’t want to live alone so I am bringing everyone with me. I don’t want an oversized creepy mansion, I don’t want a pool or anything disgustingly luxurious, I just want my own frickin’ bathroom. I also want a beautiful garden with three big trees with swings made of tires.

2. Solar panels for my house. I am going to buy a copy of every movie I could think of and I will have a mini-theater. I am going to watch movies all day long so I need solar power!

3. A king-sized Tempur bed for me. My dad owns a pillow and boy is that thing comfortable. I want a Tempur mattress on every room, Tempur sofas, and heck, Tempur walls. Those things are fucking expensive and I am going to splurge on them while I can. Oh yes, Tempur beds each for all four of our dogs.

4. A Volvo. You got it wrong. It’s not because of the T word, I’ve just always wanted a Volvo. For my everyday car, that is. It’s not impossibly-priced and I can drive it around Manila without being stared at.

Volvo S40 if I could only afford a sedan.

Volvo XC60 if I could afford an SUV

5. For my special cars I want a Bentley  and a Hummer. The day I get to drive a Bentley is the day I die of nirvana. I saw a Hummer in Manila once and damn, that thing is a beauty! If I get to own a Hummer in this lifetime I can assure you that God loves me the most of all the six billion people here. I may be a self-proclaimed environmentalist and all, but nothing can stop me from getting that Hummer if I could.

Continental GT

Hummer H2

That, aside from world peace (refer to my old blog), is all I want. I’m actually very easy to please if my impossible wishlist is ignored. I am going to make a list of the simple things that make me happy and I’ll prove that I am the easiest person to get a smile from.

Keeping Mum

Holy shit, Bloggy. Putangina. They found us. Let’s shush for a while, yeah?

Betrayal.

I was betrayed. I loved him and he betrayed me.

Tobi bit me. Our dog. He didn’t bite me on purpose-he was just trying to get my attention because he wanted to play and so he bit my toe. It bled, and that was why I got upset. I shudder at the sight of blood and pain, and I am terrified at the sight of my own blood. I hate pain.

From now on, I will call him Toblerone (his full name). I have this thing that when I am upset I call someone another name, one that he isn’t used to. I can’t really explain what it does to me but it’s kinda therapeutic.

Just kidding. I am being melodramatic. I still love Tobi. I just hated that he had to bite me so hard just to get my attention.

We have four dogs now. Maki, Angel, Tobi, and Bumper (the new baby). My dad named her Bumper. I don’t really like it, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to calling a pet Bumper. It’s a weird name, it’s a car part. But anyway “Bumper” is a better name compared to “Dashboard”, “Windshield”, “Muffler”, or even “Tambutso”. Anyways, she’s really really adorable and her cuteness is enough to make up for the weird name.

One day I will get my own dog.

If I get two male dogs, I will name one Aston and the other Martin. Bentley, Lamborghini, Mercedes, and Ferrari are ugly pet names. Hummer is a bad name for a dog.

I’ve actually made a list of names I would possibly use on my pet.

Bridgitte Bardot (I think I got this idea from Tori Spelling)

Coco (Chanel)

Cleo (Adeline’s cat)

Yoko (Yoko Ono)

Reese (peanut butter cups = heaven)

Fendi

Brie

Perth

Gabon

Morgan

Chili

Hugo

Janus

Thor

Amelie

Princess Leia

Amidala

If I get a couple, I would name them Bonnie and Clyde.

Did you know that…

…my father wakes me up by calling me on my cellphone?

...when I am too indulged in my American-drama marathons in my room and my father wants me to come down, he texts me three (or more) times saying: “Anak, cn u come down pls.”?

And take note: He texts like two words per minute which means that going up the fifteen-step staircase and knocking on my door would actually take less time and energy. And our house is not even that big, it’s not like reaching my room would require a long walk down the creepy hallway.

And take note number 2: My father calls me LAZY. (Look who’s talking.)

…the expression “Really, now? + fake slang” annoys me so much I feel the need to slap whoever said it?

…a teacher once asked me (in class) about what I thought mothers had in common and I said “children” when in fact the first thing that really came into my mind was “enlarged vagina”?

I feel really weird today. I believe it’s PMS without the P.

Laughter (n) : when a smile has an orgasm

I posted icons. Check the second page.

Nung wala nang sumasagot sa ENG1 Class:

“Why can’t anyone answer? You are UP students! The constituents of your province worship you more than any other god, next to Mary and Jesus!”

Tsk, puro kayabangan, eating and sleeping naman ang hobbies!

Thirsty but can’t drink anymore.

I’m one-eighth drunk (which means I just had a LITTLE drink, I just wanted it to sound a tad more scandalous) and I am so thirsty! My throat is a bottomless pit, but my stomach is already nearing the point of explosion.

I had fun tonight. It was supposed to be Carlo’s birthday bash but when we were already at the bar he begged us not to tell the band that it was his celebration. We pointed Jocae instead and he became the target of the bashing and dirty jokes. Jocae ordered a blow job and it was a teensy (shot glass) serving of something strong plus Baileys (I think because it smelled nice), and it was supposed to be served ON FIRE but he was a bit scared, so there. I don’t really drink so I just had a light drink, which explains the pretending-to-be-drunk-to-sound-scandalous.

We were supposed to go to Jocae’s favorite bar in Malate but I am too indulged in my pretension so I am just going to say that I am too drunk to remember why it didn’t happen.

Looking forward to being an Old Freshman.

I have never (not once in my academic life) looked forward to the end of my semestral break. Not ever. Not until this year, that is. This has been the most fruitless semestral break ever. I have made a mental list (because I never write anything down, and in the few times I actually decide to write things down I either lose the list or just disregard it) of the things I wanted/should/felt like I could accomlish this semesteral break and I think not even one of them was done.

MENTAL (now written) LIST OF PROPOSED SEMBREAK ACTIVITIES:

1. Read intellectual books.

And by intellectual I mean books that need deeper comprehension. Not the kinds of books I read in high school. I should have gotten over Nicholas Sparks by now. But you know what I did? I read another Sparks book this vacation. And to add to my high-schoolishness I even read New Moon.  I tried to read something that actually required a brain, I started reading Lee Iacocca’s autobiography and it only took me 60 pages before I got tired of it. Madali DAW kasi ako magsawa, pati nga tao pinagsasawaan ko DAW eh. But I never really finish a book straight. I get tired of it and I move on to another one. Then get back to it when I’m tired of the other. I currently have four unfinished books: Memoirs of a Geisha, Irish Myths and Legends, Iacocca: An Autobiography, and the final pages of New Moon. I promise I will read all the John Grisham books lying around at home on my next vacation.

2. Spend some college time with friends.

Since we’re freshmen we’re still ecstatic about the fact that we’re in college and all and we really planned to do something special on our sembreak. We talked about going overnight to some place and just do what college kids do. But heck, my friends are starting school next week and we haven’t even seen each other yet.

3. Buy new clothes.

But I don’t really have money for all that clothes. So I guess a couple of new tops is all I’m getting before school starts again. But I actually prefer not having uniforms.

4. Take care of my dad.

He just had an operation four days ago and he can now walk and all, but he’s still in a great deal of pain. Instead of being at home and assisting him I am here at my mom’s doing nothing but thinking about what movie to watch next.

5. Watch movies illegally.

Haha, well I don’t really have the movie library of my dreams so the internet is the best thing I’ve got right now.

6. Practice cooking

Well I’ve been doing a lot of that lately but all I made was either very salty or extremely salty.

THE LIST OF WHAT I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THIS VACATION:

1. Watching TV while waiting for my movie to load (internet)

2. Reading only 40 pages of a book per day. Now talk about lack of focus (or maybe interest?!)

3. Watching shitty videos on youtube

4. Fighting with my brother

5. House-sitting for my mother while she’s in Cebu.

6. Went out ONCE. Pafefic.

7. Filling my brains with Hollywood Celebrity bullshit.

8. Worrying about my lack of units for the next semester.

Next semester I am going to be an Old Freshman. Seriously. There’s such a thing in UP.