Did you know that…
28 November, 2008
…my father wakes me up by calling me on my cellphone?
...when I am too indulged in my American-drama marathons in my room and my father wants me to come down, he texts me three (or more) times saying: “Anak, cn u come down pls.”?
And take note: He texts like two words per minute which means that going up the fifteen-step staircase and knocking on my door would actually take less time and energy. And our house is not even that big, it’s not like reaching my room would require a long walk down the creepy hallway.
And take note number 2: My father calls me LAZY. (Look who’s talking.)
…the expression “Really, now? + fake slang” annoys me so much I feel the need to slap whoever said it?
…a teacher once asked me (in class) about what I thought mothers had in common and I said “children” when in fact the first thing that really came into my mind was “enlarged vagina”?
I feel really weird today. I believe it’s PMS without the P.
In need of sensitivity training.
17 November, 2008
Exactly a week ago I was with my mother driving around in Batangas. I came home only to find out that a close relative was in the hospital. It didn’t really shock me at that moment; she has always been sickly and weak. To be honest, I didn’t really care at that time. I was more interested in the goings-on at Friendster and the Perez Hilton than the fact that something really bad was happening. My father had to literally drag me to the hospital to check on my relative.
We arrived at the hospital’s emergency room. I was shocked to see my tita in that condition. She looked at us with deep eyes while having a hard time breathing, like she’s never been that tired in her entire life. It was such a pain for me to see her like that, and add to that my fear of blood, injuries, hospitals, and anything that involves physical pain. If I were to choose between the worst heartbreak and a mild injury, I’m quite confident that I’d live through the former rather than the latter. The most terrifying place I could think of is an emergency room. It’s never out of terrified patients, panicked relatives, dying people, blood, and medical staff who couldn’t even pretend to give a damn.
So anyways, I was there in the emergency room suffering at the sight of my tita who was suffering even more. There was an old man in the next cubicle who was, as I saw it, dying. His daughter could only sit closely and caress him. I thought about the time my father would grow old and I would be in that lady’s position. I shuddered at the thought. I cannot imagine life without my father. I don’t think I could ever love a man as much as I love him…
I had to go back to Los Baños the next day. I only learned the updates on my tita through texts. She was transferred to the ICU. The doctors had been telling my cousin to be prepared for the worst. My tita has been so sick that there had been so much complications – she needed dialysis, she needed a pacemaker, she had diabetes, she had pneumonia, she had gall stones, and on top of that she wasn’t strong enough for any kind of operation. I felt really bad at the thought of losing my tita. She took care of me when my parents separated. I grew up under her care; I even call her Mama. I felt even worse when I realized that my last thought of her was that she was a pain in the ass. She and her daughter had been living at our house for months now and since then I’ve never had my OWN room; I had to share it with them. I felt like she was depriving me of my privacy.
I was preparing myself for her death. Instead of praying for her I scared myself with thoughts that she would haunt me in my apartment (in Los Baños) – nothing scarier than an apparition. How insensitive of me to think about her ghost when she was still struggling to live. Everytime me phone rang I was expecting someone to tell me she was gone. I went into thinking about details: her funeral plans, burial plans, everything.
My insensitivity really bothered me. For the first time in months I went inside a church and actually prayed. I couldn’t remember the last time I went inside a church out of my own will. I don’t think I ever did.
After six days in the ICU she’s finally back in a regular room. She’s recovering now and I mean it when I say I thank the Big Guy.
Looking forward to being an Old Freshman.
31 October, 2008
I have never (not once in my academic life) looked forward to the end of my semestral break. Not ever. Not until this year, that is. This has been the most fruitless semestral break ever. I have made a mental list (because I never write anything down, and in the few times I actually decide to write things down I either lose the list or just disregard it) of the things I wanted/should/felt like I could accomlish this semesteral break and I think not even one of them was done.
MENTAL (now written) LIST OF PROPOSED SEMBREAK ACTIVITIES:
1. Read intellectual books.
And by intellectual I mean books that need deeper comprehension. Not the kinds of books I read in high school. I should have gotten over Nicholas Sparks by now. But you know what I did? I read another Sparks book this vacation. And to add to my high-schoolishness I even read New Moon. I tried to read something that actually required a brain, I started reading Lee Iacocca’s autobiography and it only took me 60 pages before I got tired of it. Madali DAW kasi ako magsawa, pati nga tao pinagsasawaan ko DAW eh. But I never really finish a book straight. I get tired of it and I move on to another one. Then get back to it when I’m tired of the other. I currently have four unfinished books: Memoirs of a Geisha, Irish Myths and Legends, Iacocca: An Autobiography, and the final pages of New Moon. I promise I will read all the John Grisham books lying around at home on my next vacation.
2. Spend some college time with friends.
Since we’re freshmen we’re still ecstatic about the fact that we’re in college and all and we really planned to do something special on our sembreak. We talked about going overnight to some place and just do what college kids do. But heck, my friends are starting school next week and we haven’t even seen each other yet.
3. Buy new clothes.
But I don’t really have money for all that clothes. So I guess a couple of new tops is all I’m getting before school starts again. But I actually prefer not having uniforms.
4. Take care of my dad.
He just had an operation four days ago and he can now walk and all, but he’s still in a great deal of pain. Instead of being at home and assisting him I am here at my mom’s doing nothing but thinking about what movie to watch next.
5. Watch movies illegally.
Haha, well I don’t really have the movie library of my dreams so the internet is the best thing I’ve got right now.
6. Practice cooking
Well I’ve been doing a lot of that lately but all I made was either very salty or extremely salty.
THE LIST OF WHAT I HAVE ACTUALLY DONE THIS VACATION:
1. Watching TV while waiting for my movie to load (internet)
2. Reading only 40 pages of a book per day. Now talk about lack of focus (or maybe interest?!)
3. Watching shitty videos on youtube
4. Fighting with my brother
5. House-sitting for my mother while she’s in Cebu.
6. Went out ONCE. Pafefic.
7. Filling my brains with Hollywood Celebrity bullshit.
8. Worrying about my lack of units for the next semester.
Next semester I am going to be an Old Freshman. Seriously. There’s such a thing in UP.
Cutness
21 October, 2008
I’ve spent the last couple of days with at my mother’s new place. I’ve been spending time with my littlest brother and it has been so much fun!
In the car:
Mother: “Ayaw Rauzan kay ma-buslot na!” (Wag, Rauzan kasi mabubutas yan!)
Rauzan: “Ma, I’m not buslot-ing it!”
Me: (Laughs)
Mother: “Ngeeee, you’re Bisaya! Hahaha. I thought you were French?”
Rauzan: “I’m not Bisaya! I’m Frens!”
It’s so cute how he has a hard time saying words with SH.
“Ate Sasan, don’t put sampoo on my head!”
“Ate, can I have ketsap?”
One time, Rauzan was in UP. We went to the Freedom Park.
Rauz: “Ate Sasan, what are they doing?”
Me: “They’re playing badminton.”
Rauz: “BadminTORN? What’s badminTORN?”
Me: (Laughs)
