The only annoyance I don’t mind coming back time and time again.

Tonight, I have the guest room all to myself, I have the TV all to myself, and a whole pack of chocolates all to myself. Which, at least before tonight, is what I would kill for every time I stay at my mom’s.

Suddenly I realized that Chandogne likes to hog the TV and keep the chocolates all to himself. I realize I miss my little brother. :(

Chassagne Gautama, ang naliwanagan.

I spoke-actually Facebook chatted- with my mother, and surprisingly, I was enlightened. I really needed someone to talk to. And suddenly staying in UPLB is 75% bearable…

I think I will be okay.
:)

Chassagne is thinking…

What if I just stay in Los Banos and take DevCom?

Another bitter post

Around this time last year, I was excited to apply to UP. A year has already passed and I am STILL thinking about applying. For shifting, that is. I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO. I am really thinking about moving to Diliman. Now, I kind of regret that I didn’t think before committing to something that doesn’t even make me happy. It’s going to be hard to move, if ever things go well. Dammit. I hate that college is so complicated. I just got so used to the idea of a fixed schedule, just like in high school. You go through a school year, and after that, you move on to another level. There’s only one option. Everyone takes the same subjects, everyone moves in a uniform pace. In college kasi, you pick your path and you pick your pace. Move slow, and you get left behind feeling like a big pile of steaming crap. College is about freedom, and for some reason I just can’s stand it. Liberty kasi is so overwhelming. Remember that scene from Finding Nemo, when Nemo and his school friends reached the vast part of the ocean? The water was so blue and it appeared endless, there’s nothing in it, no corals, no rocks. There were no landmarks, you could easily get lost and you might never ever find your way back. It’s really scary. That’s how I see freedom in college. If only I could choose, I’d rather have my high school schedule back. I can’t stand college. I feel like I’m stuck, you know, like a claustrophobic stuck in an elevator. I feel so uneasy all the time. If only I passed Diliman the first time, I wouldn’t have wasted a year of my life. If only.

What won’t I give for a secured and sheltered life?

Cute Conversations Part II

*Me bringing candy*
C: I brought you marshmallows.
R: Wow! Why?
C: Because I know you like marshmallows…
R: Because you know I LOVE marshmallows, and because you love me SO VERY MUCH?
C: Yes. :)

*Me visiting*
C: Hi!
R: Wow, you’re here!
C: I wanted to see you… :)
R: Why, because you love me SO VERY MUCH?

Friends

Pautang. Hahaha.

My phone is seriously fucked up. There is no point of having it repaired ONCE AGAIN because the slightest budge will cause the screen to fuck up again. My brother threw/dropped/broke-it-on-purpose-so-I-could-buy-a-new-one my phone. And I really, really, really need my phone for school, especially when we have group meetings and stuff.

The cheapest phone I found on the internet is P3800.00, and right now I only have around P700.00 in piggy bank savings. How… sad.

Pautang, pahinging pera, whatever. I just need a new/slightly used/FUNCTIONAL phone. Dammit.

Angry

GOD, I HATE THIS PLACE.

Dream

I saw Mama Lorna. In my dreams. She bought me a new computer, and I was so grateful cos she didn’t have that money to spend. Then she hugged me tight and cried. And I cried.

I’m still guilty about the last night I was with her. She woke me up in the middle of the night making so much noise cos she couldn’t breathe. I went back to sleep. She was in pain and I didn’t even bother to get up.

Passion tablets

If you’re tired and can’t sleep, there are sleeping pills.

If you’re gay and want boobs, there’s estrogen.

If you’re horny and want to last longer, there’s Viagra.

There’s something for everything, but if you’re feeling lifeless, what do you take?

I’m not pretending to be emo or anything, I’ve just been feeling dull for the longest time.

I need to be passionate about something. Anything.

Bekeysyon ni Lola

This morning, I was watching a Celine Dion concert on DVD when my lola joined me. The finale was a very beautiful presentation of My Heart Will Go On.

*In the middle of the song…*
Lola: “Satanic yan, Chass.”
Me: (no comment)

I wondered what she had againts Celine Dion and why she thought her song was satanic.

Lola: “Satanic yan, diba?”
Chass: “Ewan ko lang…”
Lola: “Yung barko-barko…”

I realized that she meant: “Sa Titanic”

Whew, akala ko kampon ng kadiliman si Celine.

Another story:

*When we drove by 7-11 (F. Ocampo)*

Lola: “Uy, eleben-eleben! Matagal nakong hindi nakakita niyan, wala kasi ganyan sa Cebu…”
Tita: “Hahaha, nanay talaga. Seven-eleven!”

I love it when lola’s here.